PRACTICAL HELP FOR PARENTS
Working Together — PCS Parent Guide
The best PCS arrangements start with the child’s practical needs rather than a dispute between adults. Use the tools and records to make responsibilities clearer, reduce misunderstandings and keep communication focused on what the child needs.
Start with the child’s actual needs
Think about food, clothing, ordinary housing-related costs, school, transport, activities, health, additional needs, technology and everyday personal items. Identify what each parent already pays directly before deciding whether a transfer payment is needed and what amount is reasonable. Routine paid childcare is treated separately under PCS rather than being built into the basic child-cost guide.
Direct spending by either parent
Money paid directly for the child can matter when parents discuss a fair arrangement. Examples include school uniform, school trips, medical costs, essential equipment, activities and agreed travel.
Do not automatically deduct a direct expense from an agreed contribution on your own. Record the expense, explain why it matters and agree any change with the other parent so the PCS record remains clear.
Childcare — kept separate from the PCS basic cost
Routine paid childcare is not included in the PCS £110,000–£115,000 ordinary-cost planning benchmark or automatically added to the £120 / £240 / £340 guide amounts.
PCS takes this approach because childcare can depend on an individual parent's work pattern, training, appointments, personal circumstances and the hours the child is in that parent's care. One household may need substantial paid childcare while the other may need none.
As the default PCS voluntary approach, each parent normally pays for childcare they arrange or require during their own care time. The other parent is responsible for their own childcare where they need it. If both parents jointly choose a particular childcare arrangement or both expressly agree that a specific childcare cost should be shared, record the amount and agreed split in the PCS agreement rather than assuming it forms part of the standard contribution.
This is a PCS policy for voluntary arrangements, not a rule of law. A court order, CMS position or separately binding agreement may need to be considered independently.
Shared care — record the real pattern
Shared care can include school weeks, weekends, holidays, day-only care, collections and returns. If parents disagree about the pattern, focus on records that help show what actually happens rather than trying to build a case out of unrelated information.
Potentially useful records can include an agreed calendar, parenting agreement or court order, relevant school arrangements and travel records.
Travel costs linked to the child
Regular travel can be a significant part of maintaining a child’s relationship with both parents. Parents may wish to consider fuel, public transport, parking, tolls and genuinely necessary accommodation when discussing affordability.
Keep receipts, tickets or a simple dated travel log where they help explain a substantial cost. PCS does not automatically apply a travel reduction: any change to the voluntary arrangement should be agreed and recorded.
Disability and additional needs
Some children have costs that are not well represented by an ordinary household budget. Relevant examples can include specialist equipment, mobility or communication aids, therapy, medical travel, sensory equipment and other necessary support.
Use only the information needed to explain the cost. An award letter, EHCP information, professional recommendation, invoice or receipt may sometimes be enough; a child’s full medical history is rarely necessary for a PCS discussion.
PCS evidence guide — useful, relevant and proportionate
Evidence should clarify a practical issue, not overwhelm the other parent. Keep it dated where possible and make clear what point the document supports.
- Shared care: agreed calendars, parenting agreements, relevant court orders, school arrangements or travel records.
- Travel: tickets, fuel/route records, parking, tolls or necessary accommodation receipts.
- Additional needs: relevant award letters, EHCP information, professional recommendations, invoices or receipts.
- Direct child spending: receipts or invoices for a significant agreed child expense.
Protect privacy: remove or avoid unrelated personal information wherever possible and never share another person’s login details.
When circumstances change suddenly
If job loss, serious illness, bereavement, homelessness, a family emergency or a domestic-abuse relocation affects the arrangement, do not leave the change unexplained where safe communication is possible.
- Record the date circumstances changed.
- Explain the practical effect without unnecessary personal detail.
- Propose a temporary or revised amount rather than silently changing it.
- Set a review date so the temporary arrangement is revisited.
- Keep the previous PCS version in the history.
Before accepting an agreement
- Check the child or children covered.
- Check the amount, frequency and start date.
- Consider direct spending by both parents.
- Consider the real shared-care arrangement.
- Discuss substantial travel costs where relevant.
- Consider disability or additional-support costs.
- Agree how and when the arrangement will be reviewed.
- Read the proposal again before selecting accept.
How to write a constructive PCS message
Before sending a message, check:
- Is this about the child or the PCS arrangement?
- Have I explained what happened without insults or accusations?
- Have I included the relevant date or time?
- Have I clearly said what I am asking the other parent to do?
- Can I suggest a practical solution?
- Would I be comfortable with this being kept as part of the PCS record?
Useful structure: what happened → what the child needs → what you are asking for → a practical next step.
Instead of “You never bring them back on time”, write: “The agreed return time was 4:00pm and the return was at 5:10pm. Could we please keep to 4:00pm in future, or send a PCS message if there is going to be a delay?”
If you feel angry or provoked
Do not use PCS to retaliate, threaten, insult or try to frighten the other parent. If the situation is not urgent, stop typing and return later. Keep the message factual and limited to the practical issue. If you believe a crime, threat, harassment or domestic abuse has occurred, preserve relevant records and use the appropriate police, safeguarding, legal or specialist support route instead of responding in kind.
If you are worried that your own behaviour is becoming controlling, threatening or abusive, specialist help is available through the Respect Phoneline.
What Parent Communication is for
Use it for arrangements, handovers, school/education, health/appointments, agreed child expenses and other relevant child-related matters. You can attach permitted images and documents where they genuinely help explain or record the issue.
Messages are timestamped and kept in chronological order. Do not use PCS messaging for threats, harassment, arguments about the past relationship or unnecessary personal information.
Domestic abuse and communication safety
Domestic abuse is not limited to physical violence. In England and Wales the legal definition can include physical or sexual abuse, violent or threatening behaviour, controlling or coercive behaviour, economic abuse and psychological or emotional abuse between people aged 16 or over who are personally connected.
It can happen to women and men. Men can find it particularly difficult to speak about abuse or may worry they will not be believed. PCS encourages any man experiencing abuse not to minimise it: talk to somebody you trust, contact a specialist service, and report criminal or dangerous behaviour to the appropriate authorities.
Do not retaliate. If it is safe to do so, move away from an escalating situation, keep relevant evidence and use professional or official routes. Children should not be used to carry messages between parents.
If PCS direct messages themselves feel unsafe, open the relevant conversation and use Pause direct messages for safety. The existing message history remains available.
Shared care and mediation
If parents cannot agree nights, days, handovers or living arrangements, consider an accredited family mediator where mediation is safe and appropriate. Mediation can help parents discuss arrangements without asking PCS to decide them.
If payments stop or circumstances change
Use PCS to keep the dated agreement, proposal/acceptance history, communication history and payment ledger clear. If the existing amount no longer works, discuss a new proposal rather than simply changing the payment without a record.
A normal private PCS arrangement is not automatically enforceable like a CMS assessment. Parents may seek independent legal advice or consider CMS where eligible.
PCS standard contribution guide
The current pilot standard starting rates are £120/month for one child, £240/month total for two children, and £340/month maximum for three or more children. These are PCS voluntary policy rates, not statutory CMS rates.
PCS's internal planning work uses a broad benchmark of around £110,000–£115,000 from birth to age 18 for selected ordinary/direct child costs, excluding routine paid childcare and avoiding assumptions that every family has the same housing or lifestyle costs. Earlier PCS modelling used roughly £24,000–£25,000 of Child Benefit over childhood and, where continuously eligible, roughly £60,000–£65,000 of Universal Credit child element. That leaves roughly £20,000–£31,000 in the simplified model to be met from parents' own resources. PCS uses about £30,000 total / £15,000 each parent as a simple planning reference before shared care and direct spending are taken into account. These figures are illustrative only: benefit entitlement and rates vary and change.
The £340 three-or-more-child figure is a pilot affordability cap. Shared care, benefit/very-low-income protections and agreed variations can affect the suggested figure, and both parents may voluntarily agree another amount.
Saving for the child’s future
Where affordable, parents can separately agree to save for the child’s future. Keep any optional savings arrangement clearly separate from ordinary day-to-day PCS contributions so both parents understand what each payment is for.
Need help using or understanding PCS?
If you need larger text, simpler wording, help understanding a page or another reasonable accessibility adjustment, contact Right First Time UK. A trusted support person or professional can also help you review information where appropriate, but do not share your password or allow another person to use your PCS account as if they were you.