Help for parents who need to discuss a disagreement, consider mediation, understand Family Court routes, manage communication safely or find reliable family information.
Start with what the child needs and what the parents already agree on. PCS can help record voluntary arrangements, but PCS does not decide disputes, investigate domestic abuse, provide legal advice or make court orders.
Domestic abuse can affect anyone. Under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 in England and Wales, abuse between personally connected people aged 16 or over can include physical or sexual abuse, violent or threatening behaviour, controlling or coercive behaviour, economic abuse, and psychological, emotional or other abuse. A child who sees, hears or experiences the effects of domestic abuse can also be recognised as a victim under the Act.
If a situation is escalating, do not respond with threats, violence or abusive messages. If it is safe, move away from the situation. Keep relevant records and use police, safeguarding, legal or specialist support routes. Retaliation can increase danger and can make it harder for professionals to understand what happened.
Men can experience domestic abuse and may feel embarrassed, worry that they will not be believed or try to minimise what is happening. PCS encourages male victims to speak to somebody they trust, contact a specialist male-victim service and report dangerous or criminal behaviour. Seeking help is appropriate for victims of any gender.
If you recognise controlling, threatening or abusive behaviour in yourself, do not wait for another incident. Step away from confrontation and use specialist support aimed at changing abusive behaviour. The Respect Phoneline provides confidential help.
School weeks, weekends, holidays, special occasions, travel, collections and changes.
Shared Care ToolsReview the PCS guide amount and make a recorded proposal rather than changing payments without agreement.
PCS CalculatorKeep the factual payment history clear with the existing ledger and downloadable statements.
Payment RecordsKeep messages factual, child-focused and clear about the practical action requested. Do not use children to pass messages between parents.
PCS MessagesCafcass Communication GuidanceFamily mediation uses an independent mediator to help parents try to reach agreement. It can cover child arrangements and child living costs. A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is normally required before many Family Court applications about children unless an exemption applies.
Where parents cannot agree arrangements for a child, Family Court applications can include a Child Arrangements Order, Specific Issue Order or Prohibited Steps Order. Form C100 is used for these applications in England and Wales.
The court process is separate from PCS. PCS agreements, messages and payment records remain PCS records; they are not themselves a court order or statutory CMS assessment.
Download the current agreement, relevant previous version, shared-care plan and payment statement. Make a short list of what is already agreed, what remains disputed and the practical solution you want considered.
If you need help understanding the documents, a trusted support person, advocate or professional can help you review them where appropriate. Do not share your PCS password or allow another person to use your account as if they were you.
PCS can direct parents to RFTUK family information and support alongside official sources.
Family areas: Family Court · Child arrangements · Cafcass · Parental responsibility · Mediation · CMS · family support and signposting.
